Venting about newbie artist struggles (diaper kink mentioned in passing)
One of the most frustrating parts of being a newbie artist is knowing you have a knowledge gap or skill gap between what you want to create and what you're currently capable of producing. I can use as much reference as needed but when it comes to reinterpreting it into my own hands it often just doesn't work the way I want it to.
I also have Aphantasia, but I will not use it as a crutch or excuse, it simply means I need to find workarounds for my inability to "picture" things in my mind.
Earlier today I wanted to draw my ferret OC with another friend's ferret OC with mine crawling between their legs and pinning them against the wall while grinding my diaper tent against theirs.
So I was able to sketch out a cute little crib backdrop for my background with a little blankey bedding and everything but once it came time to drawn in my character it all fell apart.
My prior drawing practice had me using reference poses of adult human models in standing positions in some sort of static pose and then during my practice I not only tried my best to recreate the pose, but also translate it into cub-friendly proportions. By day 3 I was pretty confident with my ability to do so, so I tried something day for day 4 by trying to create my above mentioned piece.
I assumed this would be approachable due to my improvements but it was a massive reality check and stark reminder that the artists I idolize were only able to get to their current level of acumen after years. Every attempt I made at trying to depict my character's head from a side view had him either looking like a malformed cyclops, a victim of a cast-iron pan, or a 2D lizard-snout monstrosity.
Thankfully as per my prior art post, I was able to salvage today's practice session by putting in more practice on my sketching technique I was taught, but man... Today of all days was particularly frustrating.
I won't give up.
I will get there.
I'm doing this for myself. My own desires. My own passion. Commissioning isn't enough for me anymore. I need the gratification of creation, to know that every ounce of my desires are rendered upon my canvas for no other reason other than my own fantasies made manifest.
I will get there, I'm too damn stubborn not to.
