sad
i dont think i can even write anymore... i dont have a helper anymore and i really needed that. i wrote a story for lolisholoverzine on my own, but it was so hard i got headaches and cried. the ideas i have been posting here take a lot out of me and those arent even storeis they are just ideas... the last one took me a week to write, you sawi feel so bad about leaving the storys of rikki and areta with sad endings but i really dont think im capable of writing another chapter to change that...
i kinda wish i could just give my characters and ideas to someone else and tell them to write it for me... people use ai a lot to do that kind of thing, and a lot of people say its an "accessibility" thing for people like me to be able to create stuff when we cant do it on our own anymore, but i hate that so much it makes me so mad i will never ever use ai ever for anything ever and i want to punch anybody who ever says its a good thing!!!!!!!!! so many disabled people still create wonderful art without the "help" of ai and thats amazing... im just too weak. and honestly... i think thats okay... i would rather lose my ability to create things than make an unthinking and unfeeling machine do it for me