so, it's been about a year since this instance launched, huh? let's chat a bit about how things started, how things are going, and what i hope for in the future!
this server started initially because of the fear that aethy would shut down, an instance i've been on since... gosh, 2022? and i've had the idea of making my own instance for a good while before and after i joined, so this gave me the push to finally just do it.
so, this server was made! from the offset, i've wanted this server to be a small cozy community, one that never grew too big. it's for a few main reasons:
1. i knew i wouldn't be able to manage a server with 100+ people, and i want to be as hands-on as possible with any needed moderation work, so that i'm still connected with everyone 2. huge servers grow out of control in terms of cost, and i don't feel entirely comfortable asking the general public for donations (this server is helped paid for by @Satanist , i'm forever grateful for her contributions!) 3. i've always been of the opinion that fedi prospers most when there's a bunch of small servers, and i do think that philosophy holds true. consolidating power sucks!
of course since i made this instance, aethy then flipped and was saved from shutting down, which i am grateful for. that didn't affect how i viewed this instance much though, i still wanted a small community i could curate myself, especially seeing as how... there's a distinct lack of (trans)fem-curated spaces here. it's hard not to see why there isn't, but i still think it's important to have spaces like this that are curated by femmes!
since i made this instance, there hasn't been much drama; there was a brief scare about federation with another instance, but that has been since resolved, and i'm hopeful clearer communication will happen to prevent any issues to begin wtih. and hey, i'm not expecting this to be a purely drama-free place, that's just human nature. but it is promising that not much of note has happened directly affecting this place!
as for the future? so long as i'm still breathing, this place ain't going anywhere i don't think. i'll still happily run this instance as long as i'm able to. i'm damn proud of this instance, and i'd never want to look forward to shuttering this place down for any reason, especially because i'd be pulling the rug under so many people's feet.
and hey lemme be clear here, if you prefer a big instance, that's fine too. there are benefits to being on a big instance, for sure. but for a lot of us that fall through the cracks easily, they don't work out because of the inherent nature of how moderating these communities work.
that's exactly why i made this instance, and want to keep it small; i fall through the cracks a lot. i know how it's like. to both be ignored on important issues, but to also be made enemy number one out of nothing.
i wanna stress again here that i have no plans of having possums.gay be a "big" instance.
i keep this instance purposefully small, not only to manage it better, but to keep it a *community* first and foremost. instances with large user counts are not ideal in my eyes, defeating the ethos of fediverse's ideal goal of decentralization
if everyone is packed up in a few big instances (as it is on the lolisho/cub side of fedi, unfortunately), it causes a lot of cascading issues. such as bad moderation, power imbalances, and of course, outages affecting huge swathes of people.
the power imbalance is of utmost importance to me, as someone who actually adheres to anarchist principles. power does indeed corrupt, and time and time again i've seen it happen on fedi; admins and mods abuse their powers, willfully or not. and it causes huge schisms in communities that would've never happened if it were all split up into smaller instances. people who are "power first, community second" rapidly get out of touch with what the community actually desires, making decisions that impact everyone negatively.
so... that's why i'd never want this instance to go above 100 users. heck, i'd think it's a lil bit crowded as it is right now, if there were more active discussions from everyone on here.
and hey, it's not to say i'd ever be perfect myself, but i'd hope if i make a wrongful decision that my community will call me out on it, and that i'll be more than glad to listen to feedback. with greater power comes a lesser chance that important feedback will be taken seriously, and that happens regardless of how much you try to work for it.
pearl-clutching over fiction and fantasy is just dumb all ways around, especially when it comes from dumbasses who are into dark topics in the first place
cough cough i'd also like to ask that one person who was into non-consensual hard vore (which involves killing people btw), then blocked me over my cub art, what they think too.
if my cub art somehow indicates i want this for real, then are you saying you want to eat people for real without their consent? lmfao
i just don't get the double standards about fantasy lol. like if you're gonna say what i do is indicative of some secret desire i have to do this in real-life (spoiler: no the fuck i don't you nimwit), then what the fuck does that say about you being into stories about enslaving people non-consensually lmfao. you saying you want to do that?
(story about plant aliens coming to nonconsensually enslave humanity to turn them into their sex slaves) people: "waow that so cool"
(me drawing porn but i say the characters are teenagers and they consent with each other) the same people from above: "what the fuck. what the fucking fuck. that is so unethical, i'm going to say you literally want to do this for real, and thus you should be executed"
